About women, life, love and happiness!

Long time No blogposts ...

2010-08-04T02:44:00.000-07:00

Yep, I was out for some time. I was here, on the farm working and developing ideas and projects. But it took me some time to find words to explain what had been going on in my mind. The whole idea of a "Happy Woman" living close to nature and in harmony with society just didn't match with the emptiness I felt inside.

When I decided not to be "liberated" I had to accept the fact that there is no ready-to-applie image available to replace that of the modern, independent, emancipated woman. I had to search and re-build my values and life-purpose.
A task that will go one for a while I guess ...

But I guess I'm back to share some of my humble ideas and of course to tell you what goes on on our farm here in the good old South of France.

One of the biggest changes in our daily activities is the vegetable production. Yep, we now grow organic vegetables on a somewhat larger scale then before. 1500 square meters of different and rare varieties. Tomatoes, aborigine, lettuce, beans, leaks, celery, onions, peppers, cucumbers, aromatic herbs and many more.
It's Hubby that does most of the hard work but I try to help wherever I can to plant, harvest, take out weeds and water the plants.

Hard work and not so easy to commercialize products of which people don't know what they are. We have to explain how to cook some of the vegetables and share recipes. But we have clients and they seem to be happy and satisfied so that's great.

In the next posts I will publish some pictures of our tomatoes and pumpkins.

Good to be back, hope to hear from you all!

What can I do for you?

2009-03-13T04:06:00.000-07:00

During the last 8 weeks I have done more talking and thinking then ever before in my life. It is true that everyone can think about philosophy and the meaning of life, but ... for some of us it's easier then for others. For me thinking about the purpose of life is a big effort and it takes tons of energy. However, it's more then worth it as in times of crisis and rapid changes it is more then ever important to know why you're here and what you're gonna do with your life.

As the social and economical problems persist we are confronted with a real demand for energy. In order to survive and prosper we must gain access to the stuff that really makes us go for it every day. Not "just" to earn money or to have fun but to satisfy our physical, emotional and intellectual needs. So me and Hubby have talked and talked and talked about past and future in order to find out what we really and profoundly want in our lives.

For me it is now clear that for a very long time a have lived to fulfill my personal desires. I saw my future life as it would be in a "country-life" brochure. But is that my vision or is it the vision of those who'd like to sell me all the stuff that goes with it?
I guess you know the answer ...

But how do you create an image of your life if you don't want to look in glossy magazines? Yep, you have to dig ... dig in the past, go back to your childhood memories and try to remember what made you really happy back then. What made you feel strong and proud? What were you extraordinary good at?

I discovered that I was very persistent in realizing my goals, even if all odds were against me. Riding a horse or a bike as a partially sighted kid was not a piece of cake. Nobody really believed that I could but I wanted it so badly that I never gave up practicing and getting up after every fall.
Preparing food and cakes has always brought me a lot of satisfaction. Even if things in the kitchen went totally wrong I would start all over again until I got it right. And I was so proud when people liked what I had made. That made me feel so good!

Being aware of this quality helps and supports me in difficult times. I know that I can work long and hard and never give up.

Another thing I found out is that being part of a bunch of people that belong together is very important for me.
However, the so-called freedom we were given since the glorious 70's has resulted in very "loose" relationships. Friend and family bonds can be broken at any time and for any given reason, legitimate or not. We have not learned ways to manage differences and do efforts to establish and maintain long-term relations. There was no "need" to stick together so instead of having people around that you know very well and can count on unconditionally you have to "manage" your relationships over and over again. Asking yourself if somebody deserves your time, friendship, effort etc.

This is not a good way to live.

Sharing a vibe, a flow and a mutual purpose is essential. In order to achieve this we must offer the best of ourselves to others.

What is "your best"?
The best is what we love most and are good at. The secret to prosperity lies not in wanting to live a consumers dream but in asking what you can do for the people around you.

How can I help YOU?
How can I make YOU feel good?
What can I do to make you flourish and prosper with my gifts and talents.

Do I sound religious? Well, perhaps I am. But I'll come back to that in my next post.

X-mas was great!

2009-01-07T06:09:00.000-08:00

Today it's freezing but before that we had some really mild and sunny days. The X-mas days where wonderful and I enjoyed the time with Ronny and Hannah, the horses and some dear friends.

I hereby wish all the visitores of this blog a Happy New Year! Hope to see you all again in 2009!

These are some pictures we took during the last magical days of 2009. We worked in the garden, on the pictures below Hannah is planting beans. Ronny is covering up with fertile compost.

We're working in the little house, we've been living here the past 4 years but by this summer it should be ready to be rented to tourists. Hannah is helping her father finishing the bedroom walls.

Me and hannah took one anothers picture when we having a walk with our horses. It was great and I hope we can do that again soon!

This is the Challah bread I made for New Years Eve. I promise you, it tastes as great as it looks ...

Not everybody is working here all the time ... some "folks" can enjoy the afternoon sun!

What would you call this?

2008-12-05T03:29:00.000-08:00

Guess what we found in the wood ... Yep, this huge "cèpe", a delicious mushroom. Actually we found lots this year but this was definitely the biggest specimen! I said "we" found but I should say Hubbie found cause even when they have this size they are so well camouflaged between the dead leaves that I don't see them even if I'm standing on one ... However, by no means, this spoils the pleasure of eating them! By the way, they have no side-effects, totally legal!

Great Souvenirs!

2008-11-24T01:22:00.000-08:00

You all know that my writing on this blog is on a low level because I'm helping Hubby build up his coaching business. We've also decided to start blogging in French to tell people here about our work with horses. Meeting people all over the world is great but we have to make a living here! Very little French people understand English so, with the help of our daughter Hannah we're creating a blog in french! What a challenge!

However, the blog will contain lots of video and photo material which we have gathered during the past fifteen years working with hundreds of horses and their owners.

So I might just as well share this video's with you! It was recorded in Belgium about 5 years ago. You can see "little" Hannah brushing "tall" Yoda standing on a beer container ... She wrote and read the comments (in French) but I think the images speak for themselves!

Have fun!

So quiet ...

2008-10-01T04:25:00.000-07:00

I just came in after having fed the chickens and ducks. Today, once again, it struck me how quiet it was outside. This has never been a particularly noisy or busy area but there's always some farmer working his land or moving cattle, sheep, goats. Somebody walking his horse or on his way to visit a friend or neighbor ...

Not lately, it's like as if a curtain has fallen over the hills. The list of things gone wrong has grown too long. The blue tongue fever has diminished the herds. Eventually it didn't look that bad but then the government ordered all animals to be vaccinated and after that many of them got sick and died. Logical, isn't it?

It is told that within a year more then 40 % of the farmers here, at the foot of the Pyrenees, will go broke. One neighbor who produced cheep milk is selling and many others are asking themselves what to do next? And so, it's quiet, even the birds are still. What do they know about financial crises? Looks as if things are changing.

However, it's not quiet in my hubbies office! He's working hard and I know that his insights and skills as a coach for parents of teenagers will help many people move forward and create a better relationship with their kids and a happier life!

Read my previous post, you'll find a great FREE offer there! Just an email away!

I wish you all peace!

Helping Hubby ... and Parents of Teenagers

2008-09-27T03:17:00.001-07:00

Nothing much has been going on on this blog lately. That's because I'm supporting my husband Ronny who is a Life-Coach. He has been coaching parents of teenagers for more then a year now and he is almost finished writing a Free Report about the difficulties and solutions for parents of teenagers.

He's doing a great job. Unfortunately for you , my dear reader the report is first in Dutch so I can't promote it as such on this blog.

However,
We now offer a FREE SERVICE in which parents can ask a question about any subject related to raising teenagers. Communication, conflicts, behavior, managing your family, creating balance etc.

Ronny is a Professional Certified Coach and of course he speaks and writes English! So, if you visit here and you have teenage kids, don't hesitate and send us your question! It's totally FREE and will inspire you to handle matters in a totally new and effective way! You may expect an answer from coach Ronny within two workdays.

Mail to : ronny@juanredon.net

Also, a 20 min introduction coaching session by phone or skype is totally FREE! Send a mail with a short description of your problem and 3 possible dates and hours so we can arrange a rendezvous.

My Hubby has already inspired and helped dozens of parents to improve the relations with their teenage kids!

So, now you know why this happywoman is not posting as much as she should but after the release of the report in October I'll be back with more stories and horse-training tips!

You can only win here! Ask your FREE question to coach Ronny!

Mail to : ronny@juanredon.net

Training Rola, A Lusitanian Mare Part 2 : About Join-up

2008-09-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

Another question came from David :

"Its nice to see you're working her at liberty. Does she follow you around afterwards?"

My answer : To have your horse follow you in a join-up you must build up some pressure. If you observe horses in their natural behavior you will notice that they establish their position in the hierarchy by using pressure. On this picture you can see I am really making her move forward. Determination and correct body-language are vital to succeed in this process. Many people make their horse run around but they forget to observe the horse reactions. It's like a one-way conversation ... Eventually the horse will get upset or just numb and not responsive.

If you are open to what the horse is telling you (head low, ear towards you, foal gesture with the mouth) then you know at which point you can ask your horse to come to you and join-up.

I have seen many equine enthusiasts waiting desperately for their horse to start following them around in a join-up. Personally I think that Monty Roberts is a knowledgable horsemen and he has helped thousands of riders understand and communicate with their horse. But, don't forget that this man has been doing this for ages! He also works with horses within a limited time schedule so it's obvious that he will use a high level of pressure on the horse which is not something that everybody can do. He makes it look easy but it's not!

I'm in no hurry with no horse, so if the horse doesn't follow me in a join up after 25 min. then that's OK. Eventually he will.

The join-up is the way in which the horse can let you know that he trusts you and is willing to accept you as his leader. Following each other is what horses do in a herd, it's nothing special to itself but it is a wonderful experience to deserve this confidence.

Next time : longeing techniques

Dog Shot Down by Railway-police-officer in France

2008-09-17T06:30:00.002-07:00

I don't feel happy today.

This morning we were listening to the radio news, as we do every morning. We heard about the financial turmoil and the collapse of the financial markets. And then there was this unbelievable incident that had taken place on a train here in the South of France. A young couple had taken a couple of days off to spend in Basque Country. They had taken their dogs with them who were both muzzled, had a regular transport ticket and identification papers. As the railway-officer came buy his duty-dog came close to one of the dogs who was sleeping under the seat. Surprised the muzzled dog woke up and a fight started in which the muzzled dog managed to get rid of his muzzle. The owner jumped up to separate the fighting dogs and grabbed his own dog and held him in his arms. At that point the officer pulls his gun, and, surrounded by people screaming and yelling in panic he shoots the dog in the head. I can hardly imagine the scene as the owner is sitting there with his dying dog in his arms, the whole train-compartment covered in blood and brains. This is the kind of horror that you'd expect to see in David Lynch or Tarantino movies. They interviewed the dog-owner on the radio who was obviously still under shock. Knowing that the gun was shot at just a few inches away from his head he could have been dead too... The officer just walked away saying : "I'm sorry..."

In the context of the world news this is just a minor, trivial incident, I know. and many people are suffering much more. But somehow it got me, it's so near and so real that it scares me. Remember my post on how our world might change? Our, so called civilized society is maybe not as civilized as we thought?

What struck me as well was the reaction of a journalist who said that these kind of incidents are "very much like in the US" and that if the officer wouldn't have carried a gun "american style" it wouldn't have happened. I know there are quite a few people form the US reading this blog. I wonder if there is any common sense in that? Are people more violent because of the right they have to own and carry fire weapons? Do they become more brutal? Have they less sense of responsibility?

I can hardly imagine that would be the case. Wouldn't you think that it's maybe the growing pressure that people experience which makes them feel overwhelmed and as a result less in control of their emotions?

I wonder what you think about this ...

Horse Training : Training Rola, a Lusitanian Mare Part 2

2008-09-17T06:30:00.000-07:00

I got a couple of comments with interesting questions about horse training.

My friend Barb (A Cowboy's Wife) asked me :
"Karen, you work your horses in an "open" pen with just electric ?? wire? Do you start them there as well? If so, don't they ever test their boundaries with pressure? Just curious. With the wrecks we have around here sometimes, they'd see "freedom" beyond the wires and head for it :)"

My answer :
I wouldn't work a green or untrained horse in this open pen. Barb is right, when you add pressure, the horse will eventually break through the fence.
Also, this pen is a square with corners in which the horse can "hide" itself. The piccadero is used in traditional Spanish horse training, it's a closed square arena. They're usually indoors so ours is not a "traditonal" piccadero.
By the way, it's just the wire with no electricity on it, that would be kinda dangerous.

However, at the time me and Ronny were training Belgian Warmblood show-jumping horses there was no round pen at the facility.
Because doing groundwork is essential for our training approach we built a piccadero there. On this picture you can see Ronny working a one year old warmblood foal.

I must say that he's a master in communication and only one horse has ever "escaped" from this piccadero. It was the sun of Darco gelding I'm riding on this picture. He was only three and had been ridden for just a few months .
While making him run in the piccadero he actually decided that this "handling horses with a gentle and natural touch" wasn't his cup of tea and he'd prefer to start show-jumping right away ... so he calmly jumped over the fence stopped and looked back as if he was saying : "Now let's get to some real training"!
Which he did very well and that's how he started his career as a successful show-jumper!

But now, here on our farm in the South of France we have built both a round pen and a piccadero.

So, which horses do get training in the piccadero and which ones go in the round pen ?
Horses that have done round-pen work and know the drill can proceed to the piccadero. They are used to pressure but also the trainer should be more experienced. Body-language and commands must be correct, you can't afford to make big mistakes!
The advantage is that you can do free training to a higher level. Getting the horse to come through the corners means that you're horse doesn't want to get away from you.

Also, the straight lines allow you to do for example lateral exercises which I'll show you in one of my upcoming post about horse training.

Young and unexperienced or difficult horses go in the round pen. On this picture Ronny is working our one year old Azteca foal Athos. Athos has an attitude ... so it's OK to work him with more pressure.

You could put it this way : the traditional round pen is the working classroom and the piccadero is where the horse does the exam. The trainer/teacher should know what he/she is doing in both cases!

Chopping wood for the fire!

2008-09-15T05:44:00.000-07:00

This weekend was wood-weekend! The hot summer days are over and it's time to build a re-assuring wood-stack!
We're not done jet but we've done a fait bit and already we experienced the many benefits of wood-heating!

Wood keeps you warm in so many ways ... sawing, carrying, cutting, loading, unloading! Long before it ever lands on the fire you're sweating like a horse! (a sweating horse)

We're lucky to have our friend Zou who has dozens of fallen chestnut-trees in his woods that we can have! It's hard, dry wood that produces lots of heat while burning slow!

So here's Husqvarna Chain-saw Hubby ready for action! He's been doing this since he was a little boy. Should I be worried?

Me and Hannah carry the wood to the trailer which is, considering the hilly scenery, a heat producing activity.

Wow, he's so strong ... I can already smell the lamb-stew on the fire this winter ...

I don't have a natural talent for building stacks ... However, when it stands, I'm proud!

We should have paid more attention to the ant-colonies that we have disturbed while cutting up the trees ... we're all covered with ant-bites and they're itching like hell! I guess that also keeps us warm :-(

Even Kato is dreaming of long evenings in front of the stove ...

Getting our Lusitanian Mare Rola Back to Work

2008-09-12T06:42:00.000-07:00

She has been a great mom for her Azteca sun Athos! But now it's time for to get back to do some muscle work! Last tuesday I started to make her run for a short while in the piccadero. She is such a kind and sensitive horse, doing groundwork she reacts to the slightest movement, her attention is with me and she's always friendly and cooperative.

When she came her 3 years ago she was much more tense and afraid to pass through doors or narrow passages. Now she follows wherever you go. I have not ridden her jet but she moves in such a gracious way that it should be a great experience. However, we don't know much about her past, not even if she has been ridden before! She just had a beautiful foal and now the first thing to do is help her build some muscles!

So, this is my project for the coming months, I have no time schedule as to when I want to ride her. We'll see how she develops and when the time is ready I'll have a go.

For now I do walk-trot intervals and a few rounds of canter. Changing direction turning inwards. Gradually building up the duration and intensity of the training sessions.
Meanwhile Ronny is doing some educational work with rascal Athos, check it out on his charmingwarrior blog!

Horsemanship Workshop

2008-09-11T02:36:00.000-07:00

For almost 8 years now Ronny and me have been helping people to improve their communication skills with their horses and teaching them a safe and fun way to work with them. Ronny doesn't want to be a guru, he's too modest for that. His approach to horses is down to earth, he likes using common sense. This is not always easy as nowadays many people are looking for higher spiritual and personal goals which they think are to be found with horses as such. I'm the first one to tell everyone that we can learn a big deal from horses about social interaction, responsibility and sincerity. I love horses, they can do a lot of things for me and provide me with many insight about my own behavior. However, let there be no misunderstanding, for me, a horse must be safe, trustworthy and reliable. Being a woman and partially sighted you won't ever see me walking around with any wild stallion or other dangerous horse. I have nothing to prove in that matter. When things get rough I call in Hubby!

Every month we teach at a private horse pension not far from here. Our clients there keep horses as a hobby. They want to go for a walk or learn their horses little tricks and so. Some of them want to resolve a problem they have and others just want to improve confidence and safety.

The youtube video shows a little series of pictures from last weeks workshop. The first part is an exercise to improve confidence in which the horse follows his owner blindfolded. (the horse, not the owner)
In the second part Ronny works with a gelding who hasn't realized he is castrated. His owners, three teenage girls, have trouble handling him. He rears up, throws them off and is whinnying all the time. They had trouble taking him out for a walk, he would push and walk over them ... Kind of, eh, dangerous!

So Ronny had a "talk" with hem in the round-pen after which Tempète was much more at ease and willing to hand over all responsibility to him. They went for a walk and he behaved like a little lamb. After that Ronny explained a few simple rules to the owner to avoid all the pushing and pulling around in the first place. But the real work will be for the next session in which he'll have to teach the girls how to be consistent, severe, clear and consequent with their horse. I'm glad my Hubby loves big challenges ...

You can see more pictures of our equine workshops on :

http://www.flickr.com/photos/darebooster/sets/72157603939599958/

What Would You do if the World Was To Change Today?

2008-09-09T07:01:00.000-07:00

What would you do if the world as we know it seizes to exist? Imagine shops empty, no electricity, no law enforcement, no TV or internet, no service providers. Before all of that happens you have half an hour to think of, let's say, five things you think would be useful or important for you to survive? What people would you like to be around?

And on a longer term, what skills would you think might be important for you? Do you believe that, in a world, different then the one we know now, men and women would still be doing the same things?

Why am I asking? Because I wonder, sometimes, what is really significant in our lives? How important is personal development? How much can we do as an individual and when and why do we need others? How strong are we? How much can we endure? Could we provide in our basic needs? Do we know how to live together?

We don't know what the world will look like in five years from now. Maybe economy will prosper and we'll find renewable energy sources allowing us to continue living effortlessly and able to buy and experience whatever we want. Who knows we might even find ways for men and women to understand each other or we will have become so alike that differences will no longer be an issue. There are always creative solutions to be found but what if ... it turns out differently then you and me had expected and we have no choice then to change our live. It doesn't even have to be as dramatic as some pessimist people like to believe, just different.

I'd love to hear what you think and what your ideas are on how to live in this different world. Especially when we are no longer able to fulfill every consumers desire ...

You Scream, Ice-Cream ! Home-made ice-cream with the Krups GVS 1

2008-09-08T04:35:00.000-07:00

My Husband Ronny is allergic to milk powder and since the European Union supports companies that turn good milk into powder (Who knows why?) it has become hard to find any dairy product that doesn't contain milk powder.

He just loves ice-cream so for his birthday his parents gave us an ice-cream-maker! It's an awesome little machine that can make sorbet and all kinds of delicious ice-cream. I first tried to make sorbet and it was easy as pie! With the Krups GVS 1 came a very handy manual and a leaflet with some recipes to get you going.

We've had some warm sunny weather lately so in the garden I found the most delicious melons ...

Sorbet is basically water, sugar, fruit and a teaspoon of honey.

The ice-cream maker consist of a recipient that you put in the freezer for 24 h and a little mixer that stirs the mixture in the frozen bowl until it turns into a soft sorbet. Easy to put together and easy to clean.

It was absolutely delicious and fun to make! I'll let you know how the vanilla and chocolate ice-cream worked out!
Thanks to my parents in law for this great present that we enjoy with the whole family! They are coming over in October and I'm looking forward to serve them some of our home-made ice-cream!

Almost half a century ago ...

2008-08-17T14:20:00.000-07:00

Summer is busy, I'm freezing, canning, making jam, cleaning up and also I'm doing a lot of thinking. some of which I hope will reflect in my upcoming posts. I have found time to do some horse training and riding as well which is great!

As long as I don't have enough time to write I might as well share some old pictures I scanned a while ago. Tomorrow is my birthday so it's OK to treasure some old souvenirs. I know, the quality is not very up to date but that adds up to the charm of the early seventies.
The picture below dates from about 1970. On the left there is my oldest brother, then my sister and then me sitting on the horse held by my brother Raf. He's seven years older then me and has been the most successful show-jumper over the years. Don't ask me who the horses were, I don't think we had our own horses before 1972.

This picture must have been taken on my very first "riding lesson". I guess I was about 3 years old. My daughter Hannah started at the same age. I'll check out my albums to see if I can find a picture of her first "riding lesson".

The hay is in the barn!

2008-07-28T07:45:00.000-07:00

All around the buildings of our farm it smells of hay and alfalfa ... absolutely lovely and those who have any kind of live-stock know that good feeling that you're ready for the coming winter. I didn't do much this year as almost all the hay came in great bales and so Ronny and our good friend Zou have worked together to get the goodies from the land into the barn. I am very happy and grateful for all this great grass!

My husband riding a Lusitanian Horse at Night

2008-07-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

What you see on this video is not a trained prepared exercise. It is my husband Ronny who was asked to ride this horse which had been bought by a young woman just a couple of months ago. Turned out that the 13 year old gelding had only been castrated a year ago. The horse had been difficult to ride and handle but as you can see he has had some dressage training at some point earlier in his life. With some patience, persistence and a little bit of courage this horse and his owner can enjoy a very pleasant time together. I confess that I am proud of my man when he is riding these great Iberian horses.

The Greatest Lessons from Nature : What does it take to get back up after going down?

2008-07-07T03:21:00.000-07:00

Life isn't always easy and, whether you're successful or not, every once in while something will go wrong and you'll be disappointed. The difference between success or failure is the ability to start over again and learn from what went wrong. Nature provides us with comparisons that help us understand these principles. In this video I share a very simple and basic but very true example of how you should never give up when you're doing the right thing!

What is the greatest lesson that you have learned from nature?

Cheese'n Toast Breakfast prepared by Hannah!

2008-07-04T05:38:00.000-07:00

On the first day of the summer holiday Hannah prepared some magical and delicious cheese, tomato and basil toast for breakfast. Daddy was there too and as he doesn't like melted cheese he volunteered to put this lovely recipe on video.

You wanna know why I said "magical"? Have a look and find out ...

There is no "one and only" recipe for this healthy snack with tomatoes and olive-oil. You can add or leave out ingredients to your liking. We have written down the recipe Hannah used so if you (or your kids) want to make you this toast you can register in the side-bar of this blog and receive the recipes from our videos!

From the Heart, a True Story from a Real Cowboy's Wife!

2008-07-02T07:27:00.000-07:00

A little while ago I read some posts on a very authentic blog. Curious about how this woman had lived such an interesting life I asked her how she managed to pass her values on to her children and how she lived the consequences of sticking to her soul purpose. The answer turned out to be a long blog post "From the Heart" which I would like to share with you. For me this story proves that not only it is perfectly possible to be an authentic woman but that it makes you feel happy, proud and fulfilled. The Real Cowboy's wife is a truly inspiring example for me!

Here's the beginning of her story, continue reading the rest on her blog and enjoy some onther posts covering country life in it's purest form!

From the Heart...

....as my blog title says...

Karen had "questions" in the comments part…"On the Rim of a Bucket..", so here's the answers to the best of my ability.

This is really a tough one to answer….as we didn’t really “think” about things as we were doing, choosing &… LIVING. It was just life…flowing though our veins.

"Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness. " -- George Bernard Shaw
Let me begin with a question..did you read “Our Life”?

As I've written this, I deleted , added some more, and cut out even more…not knowing how much I should share to the “blogging world”. Then my Hubby said… "it’s from your heart! That is what your blog is about!!”

So, this is my uncut version…take it for what it's worth.
A brief synopsis of us:
Click here to continue reading

Are You a Happy Woman Too?

2008-06-30T09:07:00.000-07:00

I decided to nickname myself Happywoman when I started blogging in january 2007. At that point I was discovering the possibilities of coaching and finding out who I am as a woman and how I could improve my life. I realized that happiness is not a matter of good luck but about making choices and decisions that support ones soul purpose. It's about handling your life, getting it together and moving towards your goal.

Research has learned us that to be happy we need 3 basic elements :
- good social relationships
- a purpose in life
- meaningful goals

This is off course somewhat general, if we want it to work we have to personalize these elements and work on our personal development.

But it helps you to find out which are the right questions for you to ask yourself.
1. What kind of social relationships do you have currently? How is the relationship with your partner, your kids, your colleagues and friends? Do you have enough time to develop new contacts and maintain friendships? Are you satisfied with the quality of your relationships? Can you manage different opinions and viewpoints? How do you handle arguments and conflicts? Can you express your deepest feelings, worries, hopes and dreams?

I know that a couple of years ago, I couldn't. I was having trouble managing friendships and feeling alone with my emotions, worries and beliefs. I used to think for others and forgot asking questions. Therefore I was often mistaken about how others felt and misjudged them. Always worried about making a bad impression I preferred not to engage and stick to a small circle of people I trusted. Even though I love having people around and doing things together I had trouble getting things done. Even in my marriage there where things that bothered both of us and kept us from growing and developing at the fullest.

Things have changed, I have learned about myself and my true values. I have realized and embraced the fact that men and women are different and complete each other. When before I was worried about men and women competing and trying to prove that one was better than the other I know now that I can support women who are tired of fighting or being looked down upon because they choose to be themselves, women and therefore different then men. It is so wonderful to be you!

It took me a few months of coaching and it was during this coaching process that I came to see that what I had been doing all along with my horses was all about this! About understanding, teaching, supporting, changing perspective. My horses have taught me compassion, gratitude, respect and honesty. Whenever there is something I'm struggling with I ask myself: "Is there any situation or interaction I've had with horses that relates to this? What would I do if I had this kind of problem while I was teaching Lessons from the Horse?" And remarkably enough, there is always an answer or a different approach to be found. The Spiritual Message of the Horse is special and unique in her simplicity and responds to the needs we people, have today. It tells of experiencing Silence, Trust, Love, Connection and Courage.
They teach us to live in the present moment. Change happens now. Past and Future are not to affect your present well-being. What is, is.

This might sound philosophic but I can assure you that when it comes to keeping all four feet on the ground, it's a horse! They are basic and spiritual at the same time because of their natural ability to form groups. People who have lived close to nature know that nature is beautiful as well as terrifying. Living with horses I know that anything is possible as long as you are willing to work, to learn, to change and to accept.

My life is much different now! I have made new friends and re-established old friendships. I am confident about myself and my values. I can rely on my core values to deal with troubles or difficult situations. I can support and inspire others to take the first step on the magnificent journey to who they really are! Because I know it's worth it!

Bringing my greens to the local market

2008-06-21T08:58:00.000-07:00

This morning I got up at 5.30 to harvest some fresh greens to bring to the local market of Cazères. Our garden produces more greens and artichokes then we can eat or even store in the freezer. Throwing it away would be a shame so with a little push in the back from my friend Titou I decided to join her today. Titou has been selling lovely goat cheese, made by her husband Zou, for more than 25 years. On the pictures you can see the car packed with cheese and vegetables.

My small table next to Titou's

and of course me selling my vegetables! I sold almost everything! It won't make me rich but it was fun and good to know that I could bring a healthy and affordable product to the local market.

Easy De-Stress Tip!

2008-06-20T08:11:00.000-07:00

Dealing with stress doesn't need to be complicated! Find out how what I do when I take a break!

Country Traffic Jam...

2008-06-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had to go shopping to Toulouse. My daughter Hannah is growing so fast she needs new clothes like every month or so ...

Because we knew nobody would believe us we took a picture of the traffic jam in which we found ourselves before we had even left our yard! And then people say living on the country is less stressful ...

Horses are Dangerous Animals ...

2008-06-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

Having been around horses for all my life I must have been told a million times when I was a kid : "If you want to feed a horse by hand, always put the food on your flat hand!" Guess I must have forgotten about that when I went into the field half an hour ago. I was relaxing and feeding just a few pieces of dry bread to the horses when I actually stuck my thumb between Pequeno's front teeth. OK, the thumb is still there but the experience was a little bit painful. So, to all of you great and small :

Do not put your fingers in a horses mouth when he thinks you are a piece of bread;-(

Me and my daughter Hannah making delicious Strawberry Bavarois

2008-06-15T05:32:00.000-07:00

In our garden we have the most delicious strawberries. We love eating and preparing desserts and in this video we show you how to make the best strawberry bavarois in the world ;-)

Enjoy!

Can a Young Rider Ride a Young Horse?

2008-06-14T00:40:00.000-07:00

Last week me and my husband Ronny did one of our Horse Man In-motion workshops at a private pension for horses not far from here. Only three months ago one of our clients had brought a 3 year old pony for her 12 year old daughter. The seller had told them that this pony had been ridden and very suitable for a young rider ...

Now, we all know one shouldn't trust a horse merchant but the pony was cute and as they are very honest people themselves and couldn't imagine that other folks might be not so honest. So, they bought the pony and ... the girl got thrown into the sand the first time she tried to ride it.

They came to us at one of the workshops and asked if we could help. We told them it's not obvious for a young rider to "break" a young horse. I hate the word "break" but there doesn't seem to be any other term for riding a horse for the first time. Please leave us a comment if you know a better word!

But we were willing to try and see if this would work.
So, in our first session I taught the girl the basic principles of groundwork and natural communication. She was very motivated and a fast learner and so when we came back one month later she had made good progress. The second session was about picking up all the four legs of the pony and building confidence. Again this went well. We also explained how she could get the used to saddle and bridle step by step.

And guess what ... last week she entered the area where we were preparing a fire-spectacle with her pony all saddled up and said she was ready to ride! However, she had to wait until we finished doing the fire training ...

On this little video you can see how Ronny is guiding this girl and her pony Avril safely through the process of getting in the saddle for the very first time.

Please keep in mind that we have many years of experience with young horses. Get professional assistance if you want to ride young horses for the first time! If you have any questions you can contact me at :
karen@juanredon.net

No Pressure = No Change

2008-06-13T04:28:00.000-07:00

Over the years I have learned many things while working with horses and people. On many questions I have found answers that have helped me move forward in my life. One of the things that horses are remarkably interesting for is "pressure". The body-language of horses exists of some gestures and signals but the essential "grammar" is pressure. Messages are communicated in different levels of pressure. A few examples :

the leading stallion in a herd will put pressure on his herd when there is a threat. He will make it clear to those who are in the back of the herd that they must move forward. He will do this by going after them and chasing them away from the danger.
a horse will use pressure to establish it's position in the herd. No pressure means, it's OK, you can come closer to me. Much pressure means, keep your distance. I am finding my place here and creating my personal boundaries.
adding or releasing pressure is the way to communicate with horses. Teaching something to a horse is easier when you understand the way pressure works.

We all experience some sort of pressure in our lives. In a positive form it can be stimulating and inspiring you to grow and discover new opportunities. In a negative way it becomes a burden and a cause for too much stress. Not being able to handle too much negative pressure can cause serious health problems. It can be what stands between you and happiness!

Understanding what pressure is and how you can control it is one of the most important keys to get a hold of your life. This is one of the things I teach my clients when they are working with a horse. The horse will reflect very clearly how it experiences the pressure and whether it is positive and constructive or negative and not supportive.
Just telling your story in the round-pen (circular fenced area in which the horse can move freely) and reading the horses reactions to what you are communicating from your unconscious brain will reveal how you actually feel about it and what kind of pressure you are experiencing while you are thinking of what's significant for you!
I can tell you, this can be a real eye-opener!

For me it was very clear that my true soul purpose lies in teaching and sharing new ways of interacting with the people around us in a way that uses positive pressure. By example the way in which women try to prove by all means that we are all the same and doing so creating constant pressure and frustration for both men and women. The answer can be found in embracing and honoring our differences! Doing so releases pressure and makes it possible for us to develop free and without limits!
I realize that to get this message through I will have to be persuasive and convincing but that's all right because the horses have showed me what good pressure is and how it can be used as a building tool in personal and social development!

How To Find Peace and New Inspiration in Nature

2008-06-12T00:31:00.000-07:00

Spring … a time for renewal, for new insights and inspiration. Nature is exploding with energy and beauty. Enjoy this little video, I have made it so that you can be inspired to venture into nature and experience its splendor. Relax and let yourself get carried away for a moment of calm, peace and new energy.

How to Survive in a Rapidly Changing World

2008-04-16T01:11:00.000-07:00

At this point in my life I look at the future with somehow mixed feelings. There’s no discussion, this world is changing. For better or for worse, it’s hard to say and impossible to know what will become our biggest challenges. Food shortage, economical recession, civil wars, pollution, climate change, too much or not enough water and so on. Make your choice !

Today I was reading some articles on a survival blog. How to prepare for and survive any given disaster or collapse. The author (James Wesley, Rawles) had a rather interesting view on Christianity as a part of mental preparation for coming “hard times”.

On this survival-blog somebody asked why it is so important to be spiritually prepared for a survival scenario and why you should relate only to people who have the same religious beliefs and values as yourself.
The answer was that the only place where they tell what is good and what not is the Bible and the ten commandments. In times where there is no “law and order” they can guide and support people in communities to keep functioning. In a way this is true, to figure out ones own do’s and don’ts takes time and effort. Abandoning Christianity (for what I know of here in Europe) has not made people happier and definitely not more mindful !
And even those who remained believers often feel lost and disconnected. But here I am again, do we have to go back in evolution to find what connects us ? Is conservatism and patriotism the only answer for the moral depression in which society is today ?

I’ve been wondering for a while how it comes that many of the values that I try to live by only seem to exist with religious people. I don’t think of myself as a conservative person and I am convinced that being open, creative and innovative is one of men’s strongest (God given ;-)) qualities. For me God is no grey bearded almighty old man looking down upon us wondering if we’re ever gonna make it and it’s most certainly not the bunch of intolerant self-important hypocrits in Rome telling folks what is good for them …
I think God is the Universe, it’s everything that exists and much more then we will ever be ale to comprehend. Religion for me is being small, humble and grateful but at the same time knowing that each of us is a part of the bigger plan. As an individual we always have a choice to develop, grow and thrive spiritually and materially.

What we need is Inspiration ! To become the mindful and creative creatures that we are meant to be. In order to survive anything that may or may not happen to us we should have a very close look at what it is that can re-connect us ! In the first place with our own inner values as a man or a woman. In the second place as a community, a family, a village or neighborhood.

When we think about “survival skills” it is often in terms of self-defense and physical challenges in extraordinary hard conditions. But survival is so much more than that ! It is for example about how to can fruits and vegetables, how to make ones own clothes. How to prepare a meal with limited resources, how to heal wounds and simple diseases. It’s about mental power, how to deal with bad-luck, how to find courage to start over again. How to make fun without television ! It’s knowing how to “recharge” your own mental and emotional batteries and what you can do to encourage and support others !

At this point I believe that for us to re-connect in a way that will hold also in times of scarcity and chaos it’s time to get to work and discover other values then those you can buy in a shop !!

Magic or Common Sense ?

2008-03-16T02:34:00.000-07:00

Do you ever experience these moments when things happen that you can't rationally explain ? They happen to us, sometimes, and mostly they come in waves. It can be something insignificant such as a television commentary about some topic you were discussing that day or even some really funny things. Other times we get some kind of "message" or insight that help us resolve a problem and move forward.

I know people that are deeply religious and people that are complete atheists and they all have had these kind of experiences. Personally I am not dedicated to a specific kind of belief but, to say it in a simple way, I do believe that we are all part of a greater universe. To make things easy I refer to it as God but I don't see this Force as some White Bearded Man looking down on us from Heaven. It is the energy that creates everything in this universe, it is whatever that makes the seeds we sow in our garden grow to plants and trees. What makes the mountains and the stars and anything else that is whether we can understand it or not.

When we are aligned with our True Inner Values we can experience this greater Force guiding and supporting us. If we are not aligned and trying to live external values that are not truly our own we will find ourselves struggling against the stream. And yes, "magical" things will still be happening to us but we will experience them as "bad luck".
That is why acceptance is the first step to change your life, looking at yourself with an open an honest view will tell you whether or not you're living the life you are meant to live. I discovered that where you put your energy, magic will happen. How it will occur and what it will do for you will depend on the choices you make.

Yesterday I had an interesting experience while I was working in the Round Pen with a 2 year old Lusitanian Filly called Moose. A while ago we saw a documentary on TV about a Horse Trainer in Argentina. This Gaucho travelled from farm to farm to tame the young horses that had been living in the Pampas and would be used as cow-horses. He did this in a very traditional way using ropes and lots of pressure and it wasn't a very peaceful sight. However, I do not wish to judge him or his methods. In his way this man loved horses and just wanted it to be safe for the people that were going to ride them afterwards.

So, I was in the round pen working Moose (her real name is Bayonetta but we call her Moose because she has such enormous ears). Moose is very kind and she learns fast but I was having trouble making her give me her feet and holding them. She needs to see the blacksmith soon and I like things to go well for the horse and the blacksmith (especially the poor man's back). I was making her trot around in the round pen wondering how I was ever going to resolve this problem and, thinking of Monty Roberts I threw the end of my rope to her with "great force". She wasn't very impressed but somehow the rope had wrapped around her hind leg. I calmed her down and was about to untangle the rope as my husband Ronny came to look how I was doing. "Oh well" he said "this is a very good and safe way to lift up her leg, ask her foot while you gently pull the rope, then hold it and let it go after a few seconds". So, I tried this and it worked well, it was a pleasant and safe exercise for me and Moose. It's a great way to learn your horse to give it's hind legs without risking yourself or the horse get hurt.

I learned that there is not just "one way" to do everything but many ways to achieve our goals and we shouldn't regard tradition as useless. Evolution is a process of constant learning from the old and the new. Tradition and Innovation are a perfect blend to make things better ! Masculin and Feminin energy both make sense and we get the best results if we are open to both !

Magic or Common sense ? What do you think ?

Assistance Versus Help

2008-03-08T02:38:00.000-08:00

On many occasions in my life I chose not to take action. I decided to step aside and do nothing instead of looking for ways to overcome my difficulties.

I used to think “Ah well, too bad, I can’t do this because of my visual handicap”
I’m pretty sure that many people who have perfect eyesight will think :”It was like that for me too, I didn’t do this or that because I thought I couldn’t do it “. There always seem to be many reasons not to take chances … not enough money, lack of self-confidence, lack of time etc. Very often we feel alone and not strong enough to do things all by ourselves …
The question is : Do we need to do everything by ourselves ? Must we be so strong to cope with life and its challenges alone ?

It’s wonderful to get help when you are in trouble. I am very grateful to all the people who have helped me on occasions where I was lost or when I had a problem. I guess you can think of occasions on which you have helped others or when somebody gave you a hand ?
But “help” is an emergency action, it is an exceptional situation limited in time with the purpose to resolve any kind of problem.
I realized that what we need to make real positive changes in our life is not help but assistance and togetherness.

Let me introduce you to some of my assistants :

The Horses
When I work with a horse I will ask him to become my partner. I will ask him if he wants to work “with me”. It is in the horses nature to look for support and safety. The biggest chance to obtain these things is not by trying to do everything yourself but to look for others who are complementary to you.
We have learned to appear calm and in control even when we’re not. Horses are so extraordinary sensitive that even when other people can’t see or feel when somebody is not at ease, they will notice and react by mirroring these feelings back. Doing so they become our “assistants” in getting to know ourselves …

But of course horses have their own language and learning to understand and communicate in their language requires the same time and effort as learning any other foreign language. Every new encounter brings new insights about how we can benefit and share valuable knowledge.

My husband Ronny
Ronny is a wonderful “horseman” and a terrific coach ! He has encouraged me to find out what I really really want in my life. What it is that makes my heart beat faster and gets me up in the morning full of energy ? In our work with horses and people we have found a way to assist each other. We have become a complementary team, as a man and women and as one having the eyesight of an eagle and the other … ah well !

My Mentor Coach
This is also the place and the time to thank and acknowledge my incredible Coach Karen Cappello. Ronny introduced me to her and since I started on this journey with Karen only two months ago my life has changed so dramatically for the better that I can hardly believe it. She asked me the questions that opened up possibilities that I have always thought weren’t there. She made me see all the amazing things that I can do and share with others ! Instead of being limited by my own beliefs regarding my impaired vision I now see that it is the most important reason for me to take action. NOW !

You !
Of course, there are all the great and inspiring people who I meet. Here on this blog and in “real” life. All of you who are interested in my work and open to experience togetherness !
Thank you !

About Trust and Confidence

2008-02-22T01:19:00.000-08:00

In this blog, I have shared my views, opinions, thoughts and experiences as a women. So far, I have not mentioned that I am partially sighted. Why? Because it has never been something that I liked to talk about, it never seemed important enough to share. I changed my mind and decided to be more open and tell people how being visually impaired has not prevented me from living an almost normal life

I was born with a rare disorder called “Congenital Achromatopsia” (click on the word if you want to know what it is )
In short : “Persons with achromatopsia are either totally colorblind or almost totally colorblind, and they have poor visual acuity. - As levels of illumination increase, the vision of persons with achromatopsia decreases. In moderately bright indoor spaces or outdoors just after dawn or just before dusk, some achromats adapt to their reduced level of visual functioning without resorting to tinted lenses, by using visual strategies such as blinking, squinting, shielding their eyes, or positioning themselves favorably in relation to light sources. Others routinely wear medium tinted lenses in such settings. However, in full sunlight outdoors or in very bright indoor spaces, almost all achromats use very dark tinted lenses in order to function with a reasonable amount of vision, since their retinas do not possess the photoreceptors needed for seeing well in such settings.”

So, during daytime, I always wear dark sunglasses, eventually combined with dark tinted lenses. I have trouble recognizing people or finding my way in places I’m not familiar with. Also reading small text, looking television or crossing a street is difficult for me.

However, being independent and “just like anybody else” has always been a very important issue for me. So, I wanted to ride a bike and climb in trees and find my way around town … and, because my brothers and sisters were doing show-jumping I wanted to do show-jumping as well … And I did, when I was 14 years old I was jumping around the arena. Can you imagine how proud I was ? Even though I sometimes jumped the fences in the wrong order because I wasn’t able to read the numbers beside …
Unfortunately, not having a coach at the time I got discouraged by the lack of long-term perspective and stopped doing what I loved.

Until in 1996, my husband Ronny convinced me to get in the saddle again. I still remember the joy I felt when I was galloping once more ! Soon after that we began our journey learning about Natural Horsemanship and communicating with horses. We took lessons, attended workshops and demonstrations, we read every book on this subject and soon found ourselves in the round pen with our first horse, Chexy.

Today, we have 8 horses here on our farm in the south of France. We teach and support people who want to improve their horsemanship-skills. And I wonder : “What is it that connects me with these beautiful creatures ? How can it be that I’ve been around horses for so long and never had any serious accidents ? How do me and my horse get down from a steep slope tacking over fallen trees ? Why would young horses trust me to lay a saddle on their back ?”

Right, it’s about trust and confidence. The horse doesn’t “know” that I have bad eyesight. But by communicating correctly I can establish confidence and so the horse “knows” I am not afraid and I trust him.
And of course, this is not about taming wild horses or dangerous stallions … I leave that to my husband.

I realize now that the most important thing for me in life is “togetherness”. Sharing and supporting one another and acting as a complementary team. That is what I can learn and share with people.
“Nobody is perfect” is an old cliché often used as an excuse for not doing things well. In fact we are perfect, not as individuals but as a group !

Well, if it takes a visual handicap to teach me that … what the hell, I am grateful for it !

Older posts

2008-02-03T02:45:00.000-08:00

Click here if you want to read some of my older posts.